PrepareForDivorce.com

Is Divorce Contagious?

Leslye — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 20:25:54 +0000

Studies show that divorce is contagious. You're more likely to divorce if your friends do. A study done by the Daily Mail found that the break-up of a friend of a friend's marriage boosts your chances of divorce by a third, calling the effect "divorce clustering." Break-ups within friendship groups "force couples to start questioning their own relationships" and "reduce the social stigma of splitting up, even when children are involved."

Prenuptial Agreement

Leslye — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 13:57:47 +0000

No one should get married without having a prenuptial agreement in place. A prenup is an agreement between two people that deals with the financial consequences if their marriage should end. It is used to protect your assets going into the marriage as well as future assets. It also protects you against premarital debts your future spouse may have. Even if you have very few assets, it will protect you in many ways in case a divorce should happen to you. It will also alleviate a lot of issues that come up in divorce and is in the best interest of both parties that you have one. If your financial situation changes or other things change, you can replace the prenup with a postnuptial agreement. If you don't have a prenup or a postnup agreement, then you will end up in court having a judge decide on the crucial issues of your life including the division of property. More than one-third of adults said prenups make smart financial sense, according to a recent Harris survey. "The time to plan for a divorce is not when you're in a state of hate," says Suzie Orman. You can't fully protect yourself against a marital heartbreak, but at least you can protect your assets.

Divorce Expo

Leslye — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 13:39:16 +0000

Believe it or not—On March 31 and April 1 in New York City—there is going to be a divorce expo. "Start Over Smart: A Modern Divorce Expo." This is a trade show that is supposed to educate you on the ways to have a successful divorce. This event will feature experts who "will be available to provide guidance and reliable information to women and men who are separated, in the middle of a divorce, or starting over afterward." "Exhibitors and experts in fields such as legal, financial, child psychology, health, wellness, and more will be on hand to provide information and smart options. Plus, celebrity guest speakers, book signings, makeovers, dating advice, career counseling, and 'how to' workshops." Learn how to "Keep the cost of your divorce down; Minimize the impact of divorce on your children; Build a community of professional and personal support; and Reinvent yourself after a divorce. While anyone going through or contemplating a divorce needs divorce advice and divorce info—a divorce expo commercializing divorce seems to go a little too far. Divorce is sad under any circumstances. This is a sad commentary on today's world.

Divorce Worst States

Leslye — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 13:25:20 +0000

A Bloomberg list ranks getting a divorce in the U.S. according to the following factors: minimum separation period and required separation period; minimum length of residency; minimum waiting period after filing for divorce before the divorce is final; filing fees; and the minimum time from start to finish. According to the list, the top ten worst states to get a divorce are:

1. Vermont: Couples have to have lived apart for at least a year in order to file. After filing they have to wait a minimum of three months to get a divorce;

2. Rhode Island: Has a low divorce rate and a long divorce wait;

3. South Carolina: A one-year separation before filing for divorce;

4. Arkansas: Has the longest waiting period of all before filing for divorce—an 18-month separation;

5. California: Residency for six months and a wait of six months after filing;

6. New York: Getting a divorce is expensive;

7. Nebraska: Residency of one-year and a divorce two months after filing;

8. North Carolina: A one-year separation before you can file for divorce;

9. New Jersey: Six months separation before filing for divorce; and

10. Maryland: A one-year separation before filing for divorce. Another year before the divorce is final.

A Little Divorce Gossip

Leslye — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 13:59:15 +0000

Heidi Klum and Seal have confirmed that they are getting a divorce after seven years of marriage. Seal has been looking for a new place to live and has been preparing to move out of their home for weeks. The couple has always been considered one of the happiest couples in Hollywood.

Marriage and Gay Divorce

Leslye — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 13:46:50 +0000

What do you do when your spouse tells you that he or she is gay and wants a divorce? Whether you've married a long time or just a few years, it is devasting. When your spouse tells you that they are gay and no longer want to be married to you, it's as bad as if they told you they never loved you. You may start to doubt yourself and your own sexuality. Your children will be embarrassed, ashamed and humililated. They may even take your spouse's side against you and blame you for not knowing. You will probably wonder youself how you did not know. Then comes the anger and devastation of a divorce. A divorce like this is not necessarily caused because you two don't love each other or the breakdown of your marriage, but circumstances beyond your control. Being gay is not a choice. If you have children, once the anger and hurt are less, try to become friends and stay parents to your children.

New Year’s Resolutions

Leslye — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 13:46:23 +0000

Many of us start of the new year by making New Year's resolutions. It's a great tradition that has gone on forever. Among the top ten resolutions each year are financial goals—such as getting out of debt or saving for retirement. The beginning of a new year is the perfect time to think about how we'd like to improve our lives. The first thing you should do is not to set your goals to high, because you are setting yourself up for failure. Your financial goals should take top priority. Carrying too much debt is bad for anybody. You should make a concerted effort to pay off all your credit card debt. Then you should conciously try not to pull out your credit card so quickly to pay for something. Think about this: if you had to write a check or pay cash for it, would you buy it? You would probably think twice about buying it and probably not do it. Saving for your retirement is also very important. The more you put in, the more you will have when you need it. Regular investing is the key. Social Security may not be there when you need it, and it doesn't pay that much anyway.

Judges

Leslye — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 20:15:03 +0000

"Judges are the weakest link in our system of justice, and they are also the most protected." —Alan Dershowitz. If you or someone you know has had a bad experience with a judge (and who hasn't)—go to robeprobe.com and speak up. We must get rid of bad judges!

The Marriage Dilemma

Leslye — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:29:53 +0000

The lastest statistics from the Pew Research Center are scary. In 1960 nearly three-fourths of people 18 and older were married. In 2010 the number had dropped to 51%. Four in ten births were to unmarried women. If this trend continues, within a few years less than half of the population in the United States will be married. This will cause not only social problems, but also economic problems. The steadily dropping marriage rate contributes to income inequality. As marriage continues to become an occurrence of people better-off and better-educated, one has to wonder if the lack of financial stability contributed to the decision not to marry, or did the decision not to marry contribute to financial instability? Growing up in a stable, two-parent household attributes to educational achievement. Educational achievement attributes to lifetime income.

Proposal Planners

Leslye — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 13:50:11 +0000

There are matchmakers, wedding planners, fashion stylists, floral designers and now there are proposal planners! These consultants advise men, and sometimes women, who can't figure it out for themselves, how to propose—sometimes in grand style. For a fee a proposal planner helps create a scenario for the moment and assist in its execution. While the bride tends to control the wedding plans, the marriage proposal is the one thing the guy has control over. The only thing that the proposal planner can't control is the answer to the proposal. There is no guarantee "yes."

Life After Divorce

Leslye — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 20:56:01 +0000

You have just gotten divorced and half or more of your assets are gone...Living alone after your divorce may be difficult—especially if you had a long marriage—financially and emotionally. Most women can expect to spend at least a third of their adult lives on their own. Because of this, they must get savvy about saving and budgeting. Saving sounds simple, but first you have to have enough income to save some of it. The first step you must take is creating a budget. These are some ideas of how to create a budget: 1. Make a list of the budget categories that apply to you; 2. Go through your checkbook for the past year and list each check under its category; 3. Go through your credit card bills and do the same thing; 4. Decide where you need to cut back and which ones you expect will increase; 5. Adjust and readjust the figures until your monthly budget equals your monthly income. If your income doesn't cover your expenses, then having your list will help you decide where you need to cut back. If you consistently exceed your budget, then you will have to adjust your spending habits or find a way to increase your income.

Instant Dating

Leslye — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 17:50:50 +0000

Did you know that with an App, your next date could be just around the corner? Using your cellphone you can make an instant date based on who is in the area and available for a quick drink. These services (mostly free) allow you to skip the usual online dating stuff and move right into dating. On the apps, users post a simple profile and then broadcast their availability or scan a list of others who have done so. They can immediately exchange text messages and, if there is a mutual interest, decide where to meet. This may seem risky, but the operators of these services say they are aware of the potential pitfalls and allow users to control how much information they divulge. It still sounds very risky! Most users are in their 20's and 30's. Some of these sites are: Blendr, OkCupid Locals, HowAboutWe and Grindr, which is geared toward gay men.

New Statistics

Leslye — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 12:58:57 +0000

New statistics from the Pew Research Center show that 51% of Americans over the age of 18 who are married are down from 57% in 2000 and 72% in 1960. A frightening fact is that soon married couples will be a social minority.

Don’t Give Up!

Leslye — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 12:55:58 +0000

When you are in the middle of a contentious divorce, there are times when you think you just "can't take it anymore" and you want to quit and give up! When that happens, think about this saying by Anthony Robbins the award-winning speaker, "Don't give up when the going gets tough—most people are tested when they are five feet from the goal—that's when most people give up."—and don't give up!

A Heartache

Leslye — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 13:25:59 +0000

Breakups can be brutal—especially if it is a divorce. Some people are able to bounce back right away and others sometimes can take years to heal and move on. New research reveals that it's not optimism that pulls us through—it's self-compassion. Divorcees recover more quickly when they avoid being self-critical and recognize that they are not alone in their sadness. Be kind to yourself—you may not be able to change what has happened to you, but you can control how you deal with it. Think of a divorce as an opportunity for a new beginning and be positive about your future.

A Little Divorce Gossip

Leslye — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 13:18:20 +0000

"Sex and the City" creator Candace Bushnell is divorcing her ballet dancer husband Charles Askegard, alleging in court papers that he had an affair with ballerina Georgina Pazcoguin. Askegard is ten years Bushnell's junior.

Cheating Heart

Leslye — Sun, 04 Dec 2011 13:44:19 +0000

What do you do if you discover that your partner has cheated on you? Before you do anything, you have to figure out the extent of the infidelity. Not all cheating is created equal (not that it is any less painful). Was the affair sexual or emotional? Was it a one-night stand or a long-term affair that resulted in lots of lying? Did he go balistic at you for snooping or beg for forgiveness? His reaction will determine how you should proceed. If it was a sexual affair—even a one-night stand—you should immediately go to your doctor and get tested for STD's and Aids. Your partner's actions have put you at risk! If reconciliation is possible, you should make an appointment with a couples counselor to help you determine the reason for the infidelity. Whether the affair was emotional or sexual, it was still an affair—but not the reason to rush to get a divorce. It is a symptom of a problem in your marriage that hopefully you can work out—that is if you want to. There will be hurt feelings that might not be so easy to fix—but if you love each other enough and want to save your marriage—it will be possible to get past them and move forward and have a stronger marriage.

Contentious Divorce

Leslye — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 13:23:06 +0000

There is nothing more terrible than a contentious divorce. It is emotionally and financially devasting. Usually the only real beneficiaries are the attorneys, who drag things out and, by baiting their clients against each other, inflame an already tragic and sad situation. They are the only real winners! Try not to get caught up in a contentious divorce. Try to work things out with your spouse without your attorneys.

Changing Your Name After Divorce

Leslye — Thu, 10 Nov 2011 13:54:45 +0000

Changing your name after a divorce is always an option. But changing your name should not be an impulsive decision, nor should any important decision made right after your divorce. In most states you can request that the judge handling your divorce make a formal order restoring your former or birth name. If your divorce decree contains such an order, that's all the paperwork you will need. You should get certified copies of the order as proof of the name change. A court clerk will be able to give you all the details. Once you have this official documentation, you can use it to have your name changed on your identification and personal records. If your divorce decree doesn't have an order restoring your name, you may be able to modify it. In some states this is possible even after the divorce is final. But even if your divorce decree don't contain this order, you may be able to resume your former or birth name if you still have some proof of that name, such as a birth certificate or old passport. In most states you can simply begin using your former name and request that it be changed on all your personal records. If you were not ready to make a name change at the time of the divorce, and now you are, it is neither too late nor too difficult or expensive. You can download the form online and submit it to the County Clerk's office with the small filing fee. They may process the form for you on the spot.

Therapy And Divorce

Leslye — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 12:10:39 +0000

Think twice about going to therapy, either by yourself or with your spouse. There is an old saying," Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist should have his head examined." In the context of a custody dispute, everything you say, or have said, to your therapist can be disclosed and used against you. The client-patient privilege can be broken. Any confessions you made over the years about you as a parent or your infidelities can be used against you by your spouse. You may think that you're protected by doctor-patient privilege, but not when children are involved. If children are invloved and custody is an issue, then everyone's mental and physical health becomes an issue. If you don't have children, what you have told your therapist has no bearing whatsoever because it has nothing to do with the division of property. Bottom line is: Think twice about going for therapy before or during a divorce.