Remarriage: Should You Do It?

Almost half of the marriages in the United States today end in divorce.  Surprisingly, a large number of people remarry.  (Some of them before the ink on the divorce decree has had a chance to dry!)  Should you do it?

If you are thinking about taking the plunge, be sure to go in with your eyes open wide.  The divorce rate for second and third marriages is higher.  When you got married the first time, you were most likely starry-eyed and young.  The second time around it wouldn’t hurt to take your time, be sure of the person you are marrying and consider premarital counseling, especially if this is the second time around for both of you.  The stakes are even higher if you are blending families. 

Consider how well your children get along, think about how to resolve discipline issues, especially for the stepparent when faced with the kid yelling, “I don’t have to listen to you, you aren’t my mom or dad.”  How will you deal with each other’s ex-spouse?  Thinking about these issues and setting the ground rules before you marry may make the second marriage a lasting one.

Money is also an issue when thinking of remarriage.  If your financial situation has improved significantly since your first marriage, how will you protect it in the event of another divorce?  Does the potential new spouse have credit issues?  It may not seem romantic, but it is imperative to a prenuptial agreement before you remarry. 

Remarriage can also have special concerns for older couples, even if the children are grown.  Will you lose your alimony if you remarry?  Can you afford the financial change?  How will you divide the property if one of you dies?  Will you lose social security benefits?  Again, money is not sexy or romantic, but it is wise to know how remarriage may affect these issues before you take the action than after it is too late.

Should you remarry your ex-spouse?  This is an issue that sometimes occurs.  Again, take it slowly.  The divorce statistics do not change just because you remarried your ex-spouse.  Has the person really changed and have you resolved the old issues?  Counseling would be wise in this instance.  Money is a big issue here as well.  Will you lose lifetime alimony if you remarry?  Remarriage may benefit your ex-spouse more in this instance.  Remarriage to someone else or your ex-spouse should be a well-thought-out decision and not made with rose-colored glasses.