The first thing to do is find the right site. You should only frequent dating sites that feel right for you.  If you’re pretty mainstream, try Match; if you’re hipsterish, try Nerve; if you’re more conservative, try eHarmony; if you’re vegetarian, try Veggiedate, etc. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to make a connection.

The first few responses are usually the best. If you feel that you’ve exhausted the pool of appealing people on the site, move on to another site. You can always return to that one later.

Take some time to create your profile. The more specific your descriptions, the easier it will be for people to respond to something you wrote. That said—don’t over share! No identifying info, no mention of exes, and no disdain for online dating. Do not become Facebook friends with anyone until you have established an actual friendship. You can’t believe everything that is said on online dating sites, so be cautious.

Limit yourself to a maximum of two or three emails and one phone call before you set up a date. You can even mention an email exchange limit in your profile.

Think of the first date as a quick, low-expectation meeting to establish whether or not you connect—and whether or not this person is the person you have been corresponding with. Too often when you finally meet this person, you realize that someone else must have been writing his or hers emails to you. If things go well, then you can always arrange a second date. Don’t get invested in someone until you know whether you have chemistry.

A note of caution—if  you are a woman, you must follow basic precautions when meeting someone for the first time. Meet in a public placenever invite a stranger to your homeand make sure that a friend or family member knows where you are going and about when you should get back.

 

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