Whatever happened to “’till death do us part?”

Sadly, reality is way harsher than storybook romances, and statistics tell us that nearly 40% of all marriages end in divorce. Ouch.

But you won’t know what it’s like until you’ve signed on the dotted line. When the reality hits you, you’ve got to be ready to roll with the punches—and do some punching of your own.

Here is some of the best divorce advice that you will ever hear:

1. Keep your cool. It may be one of the most painful, confusing and hurtful curve balls that life throws at you, but it is essential that your head is clear. Anything you do at this point will inadvertently affect the judge’s ruling of the case. So if you have an overwhelming desire to set your husband’s record collection on fire, take this divorce advice—breathe deeply to calm yourself—count to ten—and don’t do it!

2. Take control of the situation. Divorce advice says it’s time to lose the pigtails and grow up. You are no longer daddy’s little girl when you have decided to divorce daddy. One thing you must be in charge of is your finances. If you have been left in the dark about your finances, now is the time to enlighten yourself. Credit card statements, bills, out-of-pocket expenses and bank accounts must be dug up because these will determine how much you are entitled to.

3. Find the best divorce lawyer. This may be the best divorce advice ever. Many women are used to handing over the reins to their lawyers and letting them take complete control. Not such a wise idea after you’ve paid him, he gallops off, and you’re left to face with his decisions for the rest of your life. It is better to find someone who listens to you and is willing to take your two cents in. It is your divorce, not his.

There you have it, divorce advice that sounds simple enough but will tide you over when the sledgehammer hits. Divorce is essentially a business move, more emotional than usual but still a business move. So, follow this last divorce advice—stay smart and keep your chin up.