This is from ASK E. JEAN, Elle magazine, December 2009

Q: My husband and I have happily chosen to be child-free; however, when I meet new people, they invariably ask,”Are you considering adoption?” or “Are your pipes broken?” Please help me formulate a response.

A: Tell the half-wits: “I adore children!” And when they reply, “Then why don’t you have a kid?” say, “I also adore a penis; it doesn’t mean I want one.”