We’ve all read about the young woman who was gang-raped in India (not the first), who ultimately died—or the case against a man inside the Orthodox Jewish community who raped young women from the age of 14 to 21.  Unfortunately, rape happens everywhere, all the time. Women are raped every day and not just by strangers…And rapes committed by men who know their victims are more common than thought.

The effects of rape often extend beyond the physical trauma. The attending emotions—shock, horror and helplessness—can shatter a woman.    The psychological impact is magnified when the rapist is someone the victim knows and trusts. Rape is one of the most under-reported  crimes. Acquaintance rape has an even lower reporting rate as victims believe rape only occurs between strangers.

Rape occurs any time a person forces a sexual act on another against his or her will—regardless of any existing relationship between the rapist and the victim. Unfortunately, many victims don’t want to believe that they have been raped and fear that they may be blamed in some way for what happened. Victims are not sure if a crime has taken place; are afraid of not being believed; feel that they have no evidence; are too ashamed to talk about it; and even feel (wrongly so) they were to blame.

Women who have been raped by their partners, family members or friends often have the misconception that they had given consent in some way and were responsible for allowing the rape. Rape by someone a person knows is a violation of trust.

After the incident(s), victims usually go through a series of gut-wrenching emotions, including guilt, shame, worthlessness and anger, which can lead to depression and suicidal thoughts. Victims who never sought help for being sexually assaulted are still experiencing panic attacks, flashbacks and nightmares years later.  Rape is a traumatic, life-altering experience, and the process is different for each person. It is crucial that a person surround herself or himself with a strong support system.  “It’s not your fault” are very important words to say to a rape victim.